i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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