He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Randomize
