I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
