Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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