i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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