i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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