we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Randomize
