About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
