I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
