i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I am naked and annoyed.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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