May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
