An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Randomize
