Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Randomize
