You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
