Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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