I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
