Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
