I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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