i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize
