Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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