the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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