I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
His hands were made for my vagina.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
