I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
