I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
