He asked me if I "almost moaned"
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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