He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
