saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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