Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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