Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Randomize
