that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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