Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
