Little spoons don't ask big questions
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
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