I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
