so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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