watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I understand Curling. That high.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
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