I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
