That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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