eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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