I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
