Is it normal to miss your booty call?
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
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