school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
