Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
