Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Randomize
