His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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