Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Randomize
