I just cut my nipple shaving
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
