I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
