Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
