i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
