bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
